Navigating Through Adult Friendships

Ive been subscribed to TheSingleWoman for a long time and though a lot of things dont apply and make sense anymore on the being single, when I came across this article, especially specific parts, I couldnt help but get inspired– and its as if like she was reading my mind.

So here’s a part of the article that Id like to share:

I don’t want to force friendship anymore, either. I don’t want to have to stay on your radar or in your line of sight or constantly be the one calling and inviting and initiating the friendship. If you can’t meet me halfway, maybe you shouldn’t meet me at all. I know life can get hectic and we all get busy … but nobody is THAT busy. If our friendship only exists because I am the one doing all the work and all the heavy lifting, then I’m okay with opening my hand and letting you slide right on through my fingers. That isn’t meant to sound harsh. I will love you and wish good things for you … but I won’t chase you. I value my time too much. I value myself too much. And I know what I bring to the table as a friend so I’m not afraid to eat alone. 

I say all this to say … adult friendships are hard. Making time for our friends can be challenging, especially when you’re juggling work, and/or kids, marriage, and all the other responsibilities that come along with adulting. But friendship is just like anything else in life. The greater the investment, the greater the reward. And “too busy” is a myth. People make time for the things (and people) that are important to them. 

Ultimately, YOU have to set the friendship standard in your life. YOU have to decide when to stay and when to call it a day and walk away. For me, my new friendship manifesto is pretty simple: I don’t force or chase. If our friendship ends because I stop calling or texting you, we weren’t very good friends to begin with and I’m okay with letting you go. And boundaries are firmly in place until I know for sure you’re a safe person … someone I can share my innermost thoughts with, good and bad, and you won’t flinch or judge or bail. I would encourage you to establish your own friendship manifesto and don’t be afraid to stick to it. You might find that certain people drop out of your life when you do … but the really cool thing is, those people are simply making room for the new people who are going to appear. I’m a firm believer in the idea that everyone who is meant to be in our lives will be in our lives, and the ones who aren’t, will go. – Mandy Hale

So while people I thought were my friends eat in my home and use whatever they can from me then never bother open theirs to me, I SAY NEVER AGAIN. 👋🏽 While this girl  I invited to my birthday gatherings and important events – but recently felt the need to CHOOSE sides although Ive never done her wrong YOU ARE WEAK. The pressure to be part of a COLLECTIVE rather than an actual friendship, WEAK. Goodbye and thanks for your pity wedding invite to make you feel good about yourself, BUT NO THANKS.

I know what I bring to the table as a friend so I’m not afraid to eat alone. 

Thank U, next.

💋Z

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