Sometimes I wonder why am I friends with everyone else and I cant with one person I used to always loved talking to about life and everything else, I mean random talks.. But that first love, I understand though.
Been seeing this first officer for couple of months now. He works at the same airline. Great guy, but like Ive always been for the past more than 2 years, I will never get into a relationship unless Im sure. I would always say I want more, but the moment Im asked “what do you want?” –would start to stutter and just finally say I DONT KNOW haha So no commitment whatsoever. Anyway, thats not the point of this entry.
We were talking about old songs earlier, songs that reminded us about childhood, a place, a person. I actually did not put a lot of input into the conversation. I love listening to him and his stories so I was just listening. Music videos after music videos on Youtube, he told me November Rain reminds him of this girl he was in a relationship with for 12 years. (omg) He was telling me about how great the connection was, how they did everything together in those long years, he told me they still talk sometimes. I was just smiling. Because 3 years back I used to be a very jealous person and believe me if this conversation happened then I would punch this guy in the face lol. But yea people change, I did and might change again who knows. Bottom line is, I didnt felt any jealousy at all, maybe I ddnt care much about him to begin with, or just idk. But that is still not the point.
LOL okay. First of all, I honestly think that theres nothing to be jealous about. Second, I completely understand what is that about, we all had people in the past and it doesnt belong to anybody else but them. Who am I to take that away from him. The comfort of talking to someone familiar who he used to have in his life and he had in the past plus the smile on his face. Nakarelate ako bigla. haha. I remembered Daven. Ding, ding! First love. Well we stopped talking when he got married. But sometimes I would just wonder how is he doing and things like that. But honestly, it doesnt mean anything, like meddle or whatever. No. Its just an old good feeling. Not because Im still stuck with the person and I want the old times back. But because I would have chosed to keep him as a friend, an old friend.